Tuesday, November 04, 2008

préoccupe des problèmes

Exam is really very near and yet I am still idling around typing my blog post. I really having no idea of what to do or so on as this all is driving me mad. Sooner or later I will gone mad and my mood swing become more and more frequent. Is this good? Yeah maybe...I start to become more and more aggressive and impatient. Well, this is not me ~ not the real me!!! I am perfectly good in patient and will not simply release my anger in public but yet, I almost did it. Nearly erupted my confined feeling. This really make me feel terrible and making me more sad. Even when all my friends laughing out loud with some kind of jokes I stay cool and doesn't even has the feeling to laugh. Damn man...I am becoming a log soon (without feeling or emotionless).

Pressure seem to release some kind of substances that runs throughout my adrenaline. The release dosage is way too high for my body to accept. The effect of this over dosage might as well bring me down. I was in its control now~ i mean emotionally. This is really bad man. My emotions is not under my control now and this means I have no parental control over my own "child". Oh man, I lost my power. I lost everything. Luckily, my mind and consciousness is still under my surveillance but I am really powerless towards this new force. Taking control of my body gradually and this really felt sucks. This feeling has been suppress for a very long time but resurface recently due to the same problem again. Ew man... Why is this happening to me again? I don't wanna see my old self again and I definitely won't let this happen again. Force controlling is a must for time being but really felt scare as I am now fighting with my own self, Benjamin Bon. For god sake, should I do something really extreme to seek for release?

Listen to music