#Benjamin# Dreamy Tales

From now on, I will be posting even my dreams' scene here as I got very little dreams throughout my life. My dreams was always so short that I couldn't even remember that I was having dreams when I was asleep. Everybody dreams but the duration of each dreams were so much different. For me, maybe just a minute scene was played in my dreams and the shortness of the scene makes me forget on what I dreamt of. Sometimes, I would think that those who dreams often was so fortunate as they still be able to remember the dreams they dreamt of. In most case, dreams are special. So special until even science can't explain. I can dream of what going to happen soon and that is what I can be able to dreamt of and remember till now. It can either be real or fiction depending on what kind of dream. Well for me, most of my dream came out to be happening my real life. It was like me having premonition powers which allow me to take a peek to the future without be able to change the ending.

Things turn out to be more differently recently as I will be dreaming of all the f**king idiot stuff that I hate a lot. I sure will not be real and won't even be happening in the reality world. Just earlier this morning, I was dreaming of some bunch of my friends and me together in a classroom somewhere in the ULU region. There are no one in the room, just some of my friends and me. We were actually setting up karaoke in front of the room with two TVs. Closing the doors and windows but people can still see in as the windows were not intact. Students started to walk pass the corridor of the room and we still sing all the song available. Then, suddenly a bunch of student came in and watching us sang our songs. A moment later, two little girls came in and ask for them to sing. My friends agreed and only three songs were allow to sing then. All three were chinese classic oldies. Even me not sure of the name of the songs. However, the little girl sang so tremendously and the whole class of student "audience" applause. 

I have no idea then but I was at the back of the room sitting on a table by the windows. Opposite me was a girl who has bandages on  her neck and a opening with a plastic like tube on it near her throat who was sitting by the door. She took out her inhaler and sprayed through the plastic-like tube and out of a sudden, my asthma act up. Well, in real life, I do not has asthma problem but has some respiratory problem where my oesophagus is infected easily. Surprise in the dream, I found an inhaler in my bags (pop up from no where) and quickly sprayed in my mouth. Felt so terrible when sprayed in. Yuck...

I can still remember how it felt when I woke up this morning. Hope this won't come true. Hopefully this was just a brains data management that derive hallucination data which will never be as real as what I had before. Actually this sort of dreams does make me felt more refreshing when awake. I had this kind of dreams before and usually when I overslept. After I sleep for more than 8 hours I suppose, I might just as well develop this kind of idiot dream.

Premonition dreams become more less and less but most of it has already be in the reality just right before my eyes. Last time, I even dreamt of a SHINIGAMI or Death God was chasing me and in was in the night time. The me in the dream was an older me who was running so spontaneously around the city of an Anonymous City. So this means maybe I will pass away when I was that "age" and it was night time though. 

Word to be spoken

I can't be with you as your boyfriend...

But this doesn't means I don't love you...

This is one of my favorite phrase in a movie

頂你。。。

今天很奇怪。。。

我覺得很不尋常。。。

不知發生了什麽事讓我感覺那麽不尋常。。。

整天都沒辦法安心地做一件事。。。

說捆也不算。。。

說累又不是。。。

那種感覺就很奇怪。。。

可能是它又回來了吧。。。

對於家人的責任感又浮現了。。。

看見爸爲了他的店每天都在煩。。。

又不能幫上什麽。。。

就那‘工程師’説來不來的。。。

有事沒事就說些有的沒的。。。

真的很不應該。。。

先說簽證的問題。。。

現在簽證好了，機票又還沒買。。。

你在做些什麽啊？

別以爲讀書高了就了不起。。。

耍起打牌了阿？

你是藝人嗎？

還是什麽大人物？

答應過的事就要去做啊。。。

哪能不守信用的阿？

人家等你就可以，讓你等別人看。。。

你這種人啊。。。看遍你。。。

你知道等人的辛苦嗎？

還是說你習慣性地讓別人等了。。。

不會不好意思嗎？

那可就慘了。。。

原定好的計劃都因你而改了再改。。。

不會覺得羞恥嗎？

別人的良心儅狗吠了阿？

Worrying; solution; advise

New venture

My life has been a mess and I got to mix it soon. As my dad is starting his 'NEW' business about the vehicle NGV which is installing natural gas tube to the car for Bi-fuel use. Although the market has already has a lot of garage installing the NGV stuff, my dad be able to get the latest product and right now both him and his friends are the one and only distributor who has the permission to distribute the product to the whole Malaysia. The product namely High Power Intelligent Electric Control System for Petrol/Gas (N G V) Bi-vehicle. As told, it was the newest product in Asia region as it has already started to be installed into the European vehicles from the year of 2006, which is two years ago. So then, whenever I'm free, I have to go to the shop to tend the shop as there is only a worker who WE all do not trust too much. He seem to be like to slacking a lot and always look lethargy. Well, he like to brag a lot but doesn't even be able to complete a simple screw loosing task. Ha-ha... he seem to be scare of me too as he will not tried to get into the office when I'm in but will get into office to rest when my brothers were here. Do I really look so scaring or just being hideous? Anyway, just hope this business can be able to expand and my whole life will be another version of what I have been thinking of now.

Family

Don't know how and when, my family members started to face with health problem again. This make me quite worry and scare. 

Firstly, my sister told me that she was having no appetite lately and will fart so much more frequently than usual. She also have to go to adjust back her bone as she fell down in the bathroom and the wash tube fell on her legs which make her leg swollen and her patella seem to be dislocated. If do not treat early then she will be facing problem to bend her legs later. 

Then, my dad, his back pain acting up again. Luckily is just a minor problem and not as serious compared to the past. 

Then, my mum, she will be having her exam soon and seem to be stress out. She will do what a stress guy do which, paranoid and quick mood swinging. 

Also, my uncle, heard he was so sick due to his rebellious son. Uncle buck up... Your life is still long and don't be so worry about this things as nothing will be better when worrying too much. In the end, only troubles follows. 

Then, my EX-, her gastritis problem seem to be worsen and her health condition deteriorated. In addition, she has to rush for her projects before dues. So, have to sacrificed her resting to devote totally in her projects so can be able to pass up before dues.

Well then, I am having no problem when they all facing problems. Maybe, this means I got to be the one to make everyone stand up again. The task is finally back to me again. I have to keep my body as healthy as possible so that they all will not be so worry about me when they are facing the same. Just, I seem to more lazy than before.

And... Ying, must take care of your parents ah... Look after your brothers too... This is what you have to do now and try to make your family lively again. Giving you support... Good Luck yea...

See you next semester.

OVER, GONE, REJUVENATE

Finally, the exam is over. So, I can go and have some fun now. Going back to my home sweet home on this coming Saturday. Even though it was good and happy things, but I still don't felt so happy about it. Maybe I don't miss my friends here. If not mistaken, the ultimate reason why I'm still not happy is maybe I am going to be lonely again for the next 5 weeks. The loneliness is unbearable and suffering. I HATE to be alone. It is true. I doubt there are anybody who truly enjoy the lonely sensation as it was really scary. Well, actually I have already get used to the loneliness sensation but just hate to be alone...If can, I will probably try to gather with my old friends to have some fun before coming back for the brand new semester of varsity life.

HOLIDAY... here I come...

Embrace me with your fire...

This holiday would be the wildest of all in my life...

Hopefully... ;-P

Finger cross... 

Sci.Thinking

Scientific thinking exam will be on a few hours later... 

But I still haven't finish reading it... 

Got to seek for extra help now...

Help...

Help...

Help...

Hope nothing goes wrong later...

God bless...

finger cross...

Sad sad LOVE

A sad but meaningful story from the net... Try to understand what inside.. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'  Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.<> I finished my shopping in a totall y different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.   Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch o f white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of t he Pledge of Allegiance?'

Au Revour

Time pass and finally it's time to say goodbye...

Goodbye mates...

See you all next semester...

Yet another day...Part 2

Living for a reason

As animal do, human also struggle to live a better life. Live with a true 'hope' everyday and sincerely pray for be able to live for another day. The censure of responsibilities is what people tends to avoid but there are also some who will bear the responsibilities alone to ensure the best of life. Remembering the very best moment in life? Most often the sweet moment is unforgettable but the bitter moment is what people will not forget.  The agony, the sorrow, the pain, the suffering... Does anybody really cares? The answer is no as everyone are suffering from this. It just depend on how they cope with the matter and how effective with their coping. A talented human will be able to supress with the agony in a short and effective ways. While another group will be having trouble doing so as they are losing their ways or path on the journey to succumb the pain. They are always the one who does extremely react to a small matter in life even though with guidance from friends and families. Ending their life suppose should be their last resort in surviving.

 

There should be a reason for everyone to stay alive as long as possible. From the moment we breath without using placenta, we are all bearing a reason to begin our journey. There is one and only reason which are very specific and are common in about every few percentiles. If there is no reason to stay alive, then why is there a reason for being born? High demand on useless stuff will only bring to harm not glory or luxurious. 

That is why we all are living with a reason. A reason that we are searching for and the answer awaiting in front. However, the route towards the ultimate reason is tough and might easily lost. Not everyone can be able to found their true path...

Fiesta momenatory

Just a few days left before this first semester end, my Za' ba groupie gather around and having a feast. We even brew the mushroom soup ourself...

So...

Here are some of our food images...

GOODBYE MATES...

See you all in the coming semester...

Cheers...

重生

原本的我又回來了。。。;-P

1 down, 2 left

One down, two to go...

So happy as I am going to finish with my exam. Can be said that, this was really a tough examination as there are too many things to be study and revise in such a short period of time and now, only left with two subject... for these two paper, i really having no idea where to start study and revise as there are too many unspecific and too unpredictable. All I can do is just hope only the info that I have study and well verse will come out and the one left untouched will not come out in the paper. Anyway, this is just what I was hoping for as no matter how hard I hope, things will still moves on it's own 'orbital'. The paper was done even before the lecturer finish their lectures. Regardless of what they miss out during lectures, the question will still come out and nothing can change this fact.

Struggling till the end and all these make sense when the we know the result. Actually for this exam, I has pinned a very high hope. Hoping to get at least, or better ~  the least must be 3.67. This was my first hope here which was getting myself into getting the first class honor degree. Well, it was a tough dream but as long as I tried my best nothing can goes wrong. My determination in getting first class honor is very strong and I don't think that something will be able to stop me from pursuing my goal.

Just, after a series of extreme hard papers, I has start to ease myself down. I have to get the feeling back again in order to push me to my goal nearer and nearer. Although, my basic was not really very good but as long as hard-work exist, foundation will also be strengthen. 

HSM3- Can I Have This Dance

[Gabriella]
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

[Troy, Gabriella]
Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Troy]
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you threw it all

[Troy, Gabriella]
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Gabriella And Troy]
Oh no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

A new age has come

My psycho illness is getting more and more serious. What have I done?

Recently, I become so additively in study in late night and the more I study, the more energetics am I. Just what exactly happening here? In the past, I would just collapse just between few minutes after I start reading and studying. This kind of drives has never been occurring to me before. So, this is the first and hopefully not last of me. Relaxing for a few days as the exam earlier on might just be as simple as a piece of cake but shouldn't take it easy though. Will power in try to achieving high score and dream to be get first class Honor degree seem to be waving at me and might just be the borderline for my studies. Struggle to get into first class was fun and entertaining though if thou compare with the barely passed result.

Although it was a miracle to get into a local varsity with such a low score, I vow to make a different. It's time to change... I vow to become better and better time to time. Setting a higher goal for myself to achieve all time round make my life more substantial. Bewildering thought are not tangling around me anymore. I got more goal to set and achieve soon and maybe just today I have set two goal as in getting distinction in my english paper as I knew this was one of the paper that I can easily score. Hopefully my effort will not gone to waste. The better me, the crazy me... decision is to be made and I would gladly chose to be one of them with my goal result.

林俊杰 ~ 醉赤壁

我現在被這首歌迷倒了。。。

---------------------------------

醉赤壁 - 林俊杰

作曲:林俊杰  作词:方文山

落叶堆积了好几层

而我踩过青春

听见 前世谁在泪语纷纷

一次缘份结一次绳

我今生还在等

一世 就只能有一次的认真

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人

我挥剑转身 而鲜血如红唇

前朝记忆渡红尘 伤人的不是刀刃

是你转世而来的魂

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人

我策马出征 马蹄声如泪奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟 你轮回声

我对你用情极深

洛阳城旁的老树根

像回忆般延伸

你问 经过是谁的心跳声

我拿醇酒一坛饮恨

你那千年眼神

是我 醉醉坠入赤壁的 伤痕

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人

我挥剑转身 而鲜血如红唇

前朝记忆渡红尘 伤人的不是刀刃

是你转世而来的魂

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人

我策马出征 马蹄声如泪奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟 你轮回声

我对你用情极深

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人

我策马出征 马蹄声如泪奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟 你轮回声

我对你用情极深

我一路的跟 你轮回声

我对你用情极深

Water shortage- gone wise gone

Yesterday, I was having my bad day. Imagine that living without a single trace of water for the whole day. Body emitted a weird odors and release some sticky slime. What would you think? What kind of mood will you be carried for the whole day? Can you study? 

The answer is NO...

I don't even has the mood to eat by then...

Felt so terrible and disgust...

After losing my diet, I lose my mood in reading and studying too...

Damn...

Waste most of my time...

Luckily, just an hour before midnight, I can finally bath although the maybe there's still some sedimentation...

Never the less, as long as I can bath then everything will be alright...

Water crisis

Water water everywhere but there is not a single drops to be consume. 

無題

痛

嚴重 《打擊》

最近，我嚴重失眠。可能是因爲壓力的關係吧。。。

昨晚，我還硬逼自己讀到很累才能睡着。。。

可惡。。。

之前的我根本就不會這樣的。。。

現在，搞到人不像人，鬼不像鬼的。。。

早上一起來，頭皮痲痲的。。。

很怕會發生什麽事。。。

身體已經夠弱了， 可是還不能不生病。。。

我不能在生病了阿。。。

我的人生會被毀掉的。。。

病魔阿。。。

可以不可以離開我的身體呢？

我快支持不住了。。。

再那樣下去，可能我就快倒了。。。

我不想那麽早就離去。。。

這不是我想要的人生。。。

我的路還每走完。。。

還有很長的一段路要走。。。

如果說，我必須在短期閒把還沒走完的路走完的話。。。

那不是在折磨我嗎？

我不想再品嘗 ‘生不如死’的生活了。。。

難道見過鬼還不怕黑瑪？

無言

今天考了 RC 的考試。。。

說真的，不難。。。

可是，無言阿。。。

一個小時實在太短了。。。

要做30題 OBJECTIVE，10題 SUBJECTIVE 和 4 題 ESSAY。。。

時間真的很不夠用。。。

可是，嘻嘻。。。

我做完了。。。哈哈。。。

以每分鐘60字的速度在寫這。。。

Humanity

Human is highest level thinker than other animals does but still, human also become the foolish animal in the universe. We tent to do what animals don’t and this means we are really SUCKS. Some of our species start killing each other and in the end commit suicide just for the most minor things in life. Life is hard but lives are more important and should be in highest priority for a human to take point in. While, there are also animals which commit suicidal as like in what several whales does recent years. They are like human too but the way they protest is most extreme and yet effective. Animal lover and other residents who live nearby the shore tried their very best in saving the whale but their effort usually wasted. Whale is a large mammal which weight tones and require large amount of sea water to survive. People usually cried after they failed in saving something or someone special in life. When their effort gone in waste, they would usually cry just to express their suppress feeling. Thing does change. Some would be cruel and cold blood.


Now there are two situations which are really conflicting. One tends to save the animals from being harm but one does kill animals for their personal gains. Okay…just take a look at dogs. Some people really love dogs, they doesn’t even would linger a little thought to harm them and often treats them as one of their family members. They will shower their dogs with extreme loves and sometimes treat them like lovers. In the meanwhile, some tends to breed dogs in order to reap fortune from it. This is not something bad either as human are mostly money minded and would do anything just for the sake of CASH. They will breed the dogs till some certain ages and cooked them for the sake of FORTUNE. People do eat dog meats as they think it is much more delicious and nourishing. So, there is a big clash in belief in human.



In these two scenarios, human the LOVE still illustrate in the fondness of dogs. Just the way of express is much different. They love to care or love to eat. This is still LOVE. We can’t denied the truth that both are the same but different in just way of expression as in phenotypic or genotypic expression.



Sometime, we, human, think we create our own world but at the same time, we annihilate other species as they might be threat for us. So, the innocent animals are suffering at the same time, extinction. Before technology advance, human only depend on the great nature for living. Same as for animals, they will locate a safer place to stay and hunt for foods and resources for individual needs but now, this is no longer the case. Human are creating more havoc to the animalia and plantae world. This has greatly reduced the life span of the globe itself. Without knowing it, human too are getting to the verge of extinction. Yes…this is the truth and what we can do is just slow down the extinction process. Yet, this extinction mentions were not ordinary extinction. It’s mass extinction. Humans as well as other animals and plants will extinct totally from the Earth globe unless another mutation occurs or else, they might be another creation of living terrestrial on the globe.

Self-conflication

Inner

  Today, 6 November 2008, I finally start my paper. Damn freaking stress man. Just for this subject, I spend nearly a week time to re-enacts what the lectures taught earlier. Almost used up all my energy in this and yet I am really disappointing. BENJAMIN, how many times do you have to repeat your stupid behaviors? You know you aren’t that clever nor any genius but you still behave like this. This behavior really SUCKS and intolerable. Would you learn from the others who study smart? Whilst the well-prepared are resting, you force your body to the limit study till late midnight. Are you NUTS? You are hurting your body psychically and mentally. Don’t tell me you forgotten you have the knowledge in this in advance. Even so, why resort in this stupid act again? Can’t you learn? Will you change? NO…Should ask DO you really care of your health? Having poor body immune system but still wanted to act hero. Are you seeking death?

 

Never the less, right now you should really relax your mind. The toughest has just pass and the other shouldn’t be a problem to you except for ‘Genetics’ which also require a lot of memorization but is much more better compared to ‘Organic Chemistry’. Just let the matter off as after long struggle, fatigue and depressor are all over you now. The feeling of tiredness is unbearable too. Try not to sleep late again before exam okay? Gosh, should be – TRY to sleep the day before exam. DO NOT LET PRESSURE GET OVER YOU. Insomnia before exam will only make things worse. Let alone you can’t remember what you have read but your mind also do not function properly. This is really a HEALTH HAZARD for you.

 

Body

Finally one of the toughest papers is over. Should be enjoying now and getting myself ready for the next paper. The paper on this coming Saturday should be easy as the basic is there. Just try to concentrate well and scoring it wouldn’t be a problem. Finally I can have a good night sleep the day before exam. Good quality of sleep really plays a main role in my life as I have to think a lot to cope with my exam. Most of the papers also require critical thinking and logical approaching. So a clear mind plays its roles.

 

Now, I also found a way to de-stress which is listening to music and sing along out loud if can. I never expect to be able to sing as I read and I still can remember most parts of what I read and sing the whole song out loud. Sometime, I would be singing the same song for several hours and I just like it. Aha…

 

Recently, due to excessively study and lack of sleep, my gastritis problem is getting more and more serious. Sometime, I have to bear the pain to sleep. Whilst unbearable, I would resort to taking tablet. There aren’t no side effect when taking tablets. After consume the tablet, body seems to be dehydrating and my gastric will excrete more juice and making my condition worse. Therefore, if allow, I would just let the pain take over my sense even though this really felt very terrible and unbearable. Hopefully, I won’t just collapse due to gastric problem as like what which has happened to my relative few years back.

 

Confession

I'm getting stress out. Everything seem too simply yet ridiculously damn difficult for me. I really have to apologize to myself as I should start doing my notes and revision right after the lecture. SORRY...

Please forgive my foolish act. 

Sorry brain for your extra work these few days...

S.H.E - 安静了

最近，我的朋友愛上了這首歌。。。

就po歌詞上來跟大家分享吧。。。

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作曲：周杰伦 

作词：Selina

只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中 属于我们的婚礼
却成了 单人结婚进行曲
在这场爱情角力的拔河里
爱我还是爱你
你选择了自己
Woo~
撒娇的 可爱的 黏人的 爱哭的
照片里 曾经的 都是你喜欢的
如今我还在原地
你却走回你的记忆

你说我爱你太多
就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱
让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空
你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多
却不能给我什么
分不清激情 承诺 永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口
我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔
是因为我太爱你

只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中 属于我们的婚礼
安静了 在我枕边的梦里
我知道相爱原本就不容易
爱不是1加1 努力就有结局
Woo~
撒娇的 可爱的 黏人的 爱哭的
照片里 曾经的 都是爱着你的
脸颊的泪还温热
却没有人握我的手

你说我爱你太多
就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱
让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空
你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多
却不能给我什么
分不清激情 承诺 永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口
我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔
是因为我太爱你

préoccupe des problèmes

Exam is really very near and yet I am still idling around typing my blog post. I really having no idea of what to do or so on as this all is driving me mad. Sooner or later I will gone mad and my mood swing become more and more frequent. Is this good? Yeah maybe...I start to become more and more aggressive and impatient. Well, this is not me ~ not the real me!!! I am perfectly good in patient and will not simply release my anger in public but yet, I almost did it. Nearly erupted my confined feeling. This really make me feel terrible and making me more sad. Even when all my friends laughing out loud with some kind of jokes I stay cool and doesn't even has the feeling to laugh. Damn man...I am becoming a log soon (without feeling or emotionless).

Pressure seem to release some kind of substances that runs throughout my adrenaline. The release dosage is way too high for my body to accept. The effect of this over dosage might as well bring me down. I was in its control now~ i mean emotionally. This is really bad man. My emotions is not under my control now and this means I have no parental control over my own "child". Oh man, I lost my power. I lost everything. Luckily, my mind and consciousness is still under my surveillance but I am really powerless towards this new force. Taking control of my body gradually and this really felt sucks. This feeling has been suppress for a very long time but resurface recently due to the same problem again. Ew man... Why is this happening to me again? I don't wanna see my old self again and I definitely won't let this happen again. Force controlling is a must for time being but really felt scare as I am now fighting with my own self, Benjamin Bon. For god sake, should I do something really extreme to seek for release?

《緊急》！！！

最近，馬來西亞又再次吹起了一陣強風。這暴風料將到十二月中才結束，我囯已將這風暴提升至13號風球~緊急紅色警報。預料全國所有正在求學的學生們將成爲這強風的受害者。陣風附帶來了‘壓力’而且很有可能會老化人民。可是，同樣的風也相近的全球各地刮起來了。可説是全球風啊。。。

如發現您的孩子有以下的症狀，請採取行動；

• 每天抱著書
  

• 掉髮（嚴重性）

• 食量劇增/沒食慾

• 老嘆氣

• 很煩躁

• 不作平時愛做的事（如看戯，走街等）

• 老関在房

• 等等。。。

爲了您和孩子的健康，最好立刻行動。。。

這暴風每年都會吹起。。。

全球一致認爲把這風名為~考試風。。。

眼睛受傷了。。。

我的眼睛受傷了。。。

這就是證據。。。

圖：左眼球發癢，流淚。

這就是不斷熬夜，不良飲食的下場。。。

我也不想的。。。

如果不是有著臨時抱佛腳的習慣，也不會發生這事。。。

眼睛啊--〉對不起。。。

我不是故意的。。。

不要在懲罰我勒拉。。。

我知錯了。。。

請原諒我吧。。。

我會善待你的。。。

寶貝，我發誓過了這個月你就會受到皇室般的寵愛了。。。

不再讓你那麽辛苦。。。

也不再讓你流淚了。。。

可，不能買通你的好兄弟一起哭哦。。。

我可愛的左眼，我們一起守承諾把。。

---------------------------------------------------------------

別問爲什麽我寫那麽多奇怪得咚咚。。。

我要垮了。。。

所以要發洩一下。。。

無聊。。。沒事

考試要到了。。。

我真的很壓力阿。。。

就昨天而已我就讀到清晨五點多才回房睡。。。

看到了朋友一個接一個的倒下我好害怕哦。。。

好怕我也會跟著一起到下。。。

恐怕這事就快發生在我身上了。。。

連日的壓力壓在了我的身上也讓我了解到我那懶散個性的代價。。。

真的很怕阿。。。

誰可以救我？

-----------------------------------------------------------------

現在的我，好需要依靠哦。。。

幸好有人給我依靠了。。。哈哈。。。

可是，就很奇怪咯。。。

啥奇怪呢？

不懂啊。。。

---------------------------------------------------------------

謝謝你

Cobo moro soro

This is the most crucial moment in this year for me ~~~> I'm going to sit for my semester final exam . Hard though but this make my day. I was force to study extremely hard. Actually should be study crazily. For me, this was like a dream and I will try my best in this dream so later might be able to reach another mind state in another way -> a better way. Study was the only path to keep me going and stop me from thinking negatively. Also, I was able to strengthen my social skill as my socializing really SUCKS.

Now what I have to care most is my body. My body condition can be said to be deteriorate during this whole week as I was eating more JUNK food with bad living habit as in take more meals than usual, sleep later than usual (once till 5.30a.m.), skip meals, less plain water intake, more carbonated drinks and so on. This is all the bad bad habit which make my conditions worse. I hate it but DO I HAVE A CHOICE? All I can do is try to minimize the impact of these health hazard on my body. Really scare if one day I fell ill severely and pass away due to this but right now, I think that this might just as well be true as I am already SICK. Should I tell HER? Maybe no... I preserve the RIGHT to let her know the truth of my weak and sick body.

If I let her know now, then sure will be much worried on me and can't concentrate on her study. I do not wish to make her suffer in the dilemma of worries and missing. I think this is the best that I can do now.

So, thinking too much make suffers too. No wonder my junior said I need a psychology to amend my habits. Is that WHAT I want? Maybe but this is not true. I DO NOT NEED one...Haha... My psychology state is quite stable and what I need is just guidance and care from friends and other individuals. I need to release my stress out by MAYBE crying out loud? Walking excessively? Study fanatically? Eating excessively? etc.