Tuesday, April 14, 2009

In moment of erupting...

14 April 2009. Gloomy day

Today might be just another stupid day for me as I am doing all those stupid stuff and never ever stop. Starting from the morning I have been sticking my eyes on the laptop screen without stopping and then when my friends ask me to go for lunch I actually just decline them as I have already ate breads. This isn't the actual me. I have been wondering why I suddenly becoming like this. I do not like the feeling of being a anti-socialist. In fact, I like to socialize with friends no matter from which races and colour of skin. Right now, I have been changing and getting to be not me again. I hate this feeling. Using the melody of grief and sadness to stop me from deteriorating to a more worse me would only be the temporary option.

Using music as a therapy is a good option when there is no shrinks available. In addition, there is really no shrinks available in Malaysia as the culture here void them from existence. Well, I can still counsel myself as I have the knowledge. Please don't let the demon of unexistence be in my heart. I really need a pure and charmed heart.

Also, today is Black day. It really mean to be for people like me as I am still single and surely available. As for today, I believe that the anti-love group will be letting out their griefness to couple around them and urge them to break up with the other party. It's quite a childish act but there are still people who still acting like one. In my heart, I really hope that I can celebrate Valentine or White day but who can be the other one of me? I need a listener to listen to all my stuff and my complains. I really do need one. Who knows, maybe I might end up crying like a little baby in front of her who has yet to appear.

Well, before the day ends, I got another task and this really trips me. All of a sudden I have to do the stupid stuff again. A representative of BSM? No way... I hate to do this kind of job. Need to contact all the members to get the form and for those who are not around, I have to fill in the form for their sake as well. I don't like this kind of job as all this require waiting. I do have phobia for waiting and hate when I need to wait for people. I have no idea why people like to say "coming" and then making me wait for a long period of time. Hey... my time is precious also okay... I don't really have much time just to wait for you all who just said "coming" and appears only after a DECADE. Please do not try my patient as my patient also has a limit. To those who always make me waiting, ~ I will not respect you. Some of this is really important and I just act well to help out. So do not try my patient time over time as I am now already in gauze of erupting.

Well, there is something when I say NOW means NOW and it is very URGENT. So please just make it on time. Now means now... So no time stalling.


jayne said...

"Using music as a therapy is a good option"

i strongly agree this :D cuz i did that too. :)

ya, anything happen kah benjamin? these few days ur post kinda emo wor. don make urself too hard n try to think another way round k? chat with me if u wanna say anything :)

btw, wad is black day huh/?

Benjamin said...

there are names for each month especially on 14th of each month. Black day is mean for those who are still single and also to those who do not get any present during the valentine and white day.

btw...jz release my unsastifactory here la..and u always not on9 lo... how can chat? haha

jayne said...

who say wor.. got la. gimme me ur email then i add u in my msn. hahah

then u can release ur stress liao.

don worry too much k? :) everything will be fine de.

Benjamin said...

ur email is with yahoo? if then i add u lo... if not then go get from my facebook la... dun wan put here...later ppl spam my mail box... XD

jayne said...

hahaha not yahoo lo.
will give u soon in facebook.

u don perasan can or not a. later ppl spam u pulak ==

ppl spam me jiu gok =P haha kidding la

Benjamin said...

both gt a... u all lo... confer me with camwhore king... so no choice being spam lo... lolx

jcdagreat said...

ben ar...finally sumone say my heartfelt... dun keep others waiting... thanks 4 voicing it... haiz. dunno how their parent educate them lo...very sick of dealing with such ppl...

Listen to music