Insomnia

Little did wonder, why am I still awake at this moment? This is the first night I started to have insomnia. Fell asleep at around 12 am and wake up again by 2am. I was freak out that I  couldn't sleep anymore. The more I wanted to sleep, the more cleared mind I am. This is sure driving me crazy as my earliest class is at 8 in the morning and what more worst is that I need to concentrate for at least 4 continuous hours. What should I do? Hmm... I should just stay awake by now as if I fell asleep, then I would sure miss the lecture in the morning.

Falling asleep should be what I am capable of. Even after drinking coffee, I would still be able to sleep well. However, maybe due to my daily routine, my sleeping qualities started to be disturbed. This is rather irritating but I need to focus right now. Maybe should try to finish my assignment by now so that time can pass faster for me. Lonely night, time flies slowly.

Those who were sleeping at the moment, Good Night!

Meetings.....

Ever since becoming  member of the board, I have been facing transportation problems. In my residential college, there is another one who was also like me. She is also facing the same problem. Sometimes, we do not go for meeting not because of don't want but not able to. As the meeting times is at night, and sometimes on weekend, there is no bus to go to the meeting destination at all. We can either ask for helps or just stay in room doing our own works. Life is tough and there will always be some one who thinks that we neglect our job or say something bad, what happened is happened. There is no way we can change the past. What we can do is to maintain in our own path and do our best for the very best. 

I think, I will be missing most of the meetings due to transportation problems and also some clashing issues.

Hope you guys will understand our problems as we both do not even own our own transportation.

It's kinda funny~ my life has change

Time really passes and its almost time for me to go on to the next stage. Le 21 Mars 2010, a day for me to realize what is short in me. Started to realizing that my driving skill is deteriorating. I couldn't handle a car well and driving like an idiot. I really miss my car at home. At least, I can speed to the velocity that I want. Maybe driving peoples car making me more nervous and thus unable to handle it well. XD


Hmm... Really hope to get the car from my home asap.

Ever changing moment

Time is changing and as well as us. People are changing almost every minute. Some can be recognize easily while some will have to take a period of time to observe the changes in him/her. The most easily trait to be observed is one temperate. As temperate is a trait that will shown almost instantly upon changing, we can track and change the ways or methods for approaching. 
The same goes with me. Recently, I started to have a major mood swing. I can be in my ecstasy for a moment and the next minute, my mood changed entirely. What scared most is I started to show my bad mood with peoples around me and I know this is really bad. I always wanted to improve my desire of being angry and commence in scolding or ranting around but seem like this is all getting more and more worst. The cool me who will not get angry easily might have been dead and I was reborn to a new characteristic. The new me seem to be overdoing as I started to have no patient at all. Sensitivity surrounding me and skepticism is what holding me on. The old and secret bottle is no longer around while the autism characteristics is emerging again once more. I was once anti-society or non-public relation dude but as I grown, this is changing and I become the opposite. Now, maybe all will be the same again as the old times. As leopard will never changed its spot. The same goes with me. I believe that is my nature and I am just back to my own self but indeed this will bring harm to myself. I will soon lost my skills in communicating well with others and keep away from peoples. Will this happens? Hope not... 

外表开心的人

This is just so me...


总有一些人，他们看上去整天都很开心，嘻嘻哈哈的，没有 烦恼，像个小孩，他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣，我很喜欢玩 ，我什么都会玩人多的时候他们脸上总挂着笑容，好多人都 会羡慕他们，然而这其实是他们最悲哀的地方，他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面，更没有能力一个人独处，因为当夜深人静的时候，他不知道一个人会发生什么事，坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴 


没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们就整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦！


他们貌似很坚强，因为在别人看来，他们什么事都能微笑着去面对，但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵，只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。 他们其实非常孤独，虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地，那是因为他们实在不能承受一个人时的折磨！


他们只想简简单单、快快乐乐的活着，期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的，希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见，也会另他们难过好久，他们真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜欢。因为，他们总是为别人想的很多，对别人总是比对自己好；把能对喜欢的人好当做幸福，喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。


他们总是那样，前一秒还伤心的流着泪，后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候，已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵，是的，他们在意的人就像是太阳，在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣，而太阳照不到的背面，那悲伤藏得那么好，不愿被看见。


他们向往放纵自由的生活，却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着，很累很累，却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越来远，不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂，恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时，才会卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里，笑就是开心，哭就是难过，接近就是喜欢，远离就是讨厌。但其实不是，他们明白了，心好伤，眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后，笑笑得擦干眼泪，说，没关系，我可以做的很好的。


他们好像无所不能，好像总是不会有烦恼，好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决，总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题，他们却茫然无措，面对自己的悲伤，他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落里慢慢由伤口越裂越大。


他们的想法非常简单，说出来的就是心里所想的，肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯，无心的话可能会引起别人的误解。所以，请别记恨他们，他们从不愿伤害谁，小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。


他们其实非常单纯，甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好，因此他们的世界观其实也很简单，他们很容易受蛊惑，请不要轻易的伤害他们的感情，因为一旦伤害了，那就将永远弥补不回来！如果你身边有这种人请你给予他（她）那怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀，让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们。

Remembrance

I got a question deep in my heart and have no where to say ask. Why is there so many thing that one can't settle by own self but need to depend on others help in order to solve? Obviously this is not the question I mean. Maybe I should just let it bottled in my heart and never mention as I don't think this will do me good.

Sometimes it was regarded as a good thing but its also bad for some. I am one of those with abundant negative thought so in order from getting hurt, lets just drop the topic~

句号

希望一切都附上句号。。。

人生苦短，不想被一些不愉快的事影响生活作息。

计划。。。 明日生效！！！

最近的我开始对任何事都存有疑惑。这种疑惑让我感到很不安。通常人开始厌倦了某些事就会有这样的疑惑。感觉上什么都不再重要了。同样的一句话，我还是当个吾形人比较好。。。很讨被当作透明的。 这几天，不知为何的一切有方佛回到了不认识的时候。同样的内容，我说了就是没有人听也没有人在意我想说的话。我说的都是废话吧？不说又被人说摆架子，很坏，最后一分钟才说等等的话。

我好想什么都不说了。。。

说了也没人听，却让我感到不渝。。。

反正我说的每句话都不当是话，没人想聆听。

就从明天起，我要开始回到我小学的时候了。不再爱说话和传达消息。。。

每个人都有致命伤， 而我的偏偏就是这。。。

朋友们，请不要问我为什么整天拉着脸不说话哦。。。

我已经厌倦了。。。

不再想受伤害！

Every 14th of the month means somethings...

I knew most of us knows that every 14th of the month means something. There are something that we should know not only on the Saint Valentine (Valentinus) day but every month.

Beginning with January 14th, we got Diary Day. A day for the planing of a courtship. When you have someone that occupied a corner of your heart, one can write the feeling out in a diary (book or even in blog) and thus also help in planning how to win his/her heart. This is a day to encourage peoples to take actions.

On February 14th, it is Saint Valentines Day (Valentine Day in short). This is the Valentine Day that we all known. In Asian, this day is also known as the Western Valentine Day. This is a day where girls will gift chocolates to boy she like but she have to be fast as boys might also received chocolates from other girls. However peoples in Asian especially Non-Christians does not recognize the Saint Valentines but still, this custom has assimilated into every countries culture.

While March 14th is the White Day. This is a day for the boy to reply his answer. On this day, boy will gift/reply to the girl he like by gift her a white candy. The girls who sent out chocolates will find out whether her love for him is mutually or otherwise just one side love.

April 14th is a South Korean informal traditions for peoples who are still single to get together and eat jajangmyen (noodle with black bean sauce), sometimes a white sauce is mixed for those who did not celebrate White Day. This is a day to celebrate singledom. This is known as the Black Day.

May 14th is Yellow & Rose Day. For couples who has been together for some times, he should gift her a rose to express their relationship. White Rose means normal friends, Yellow Rose means best friends and Red Rose means Lover! If he is really love her, then surely Red Rose is the one to be gift.

June 14th is the Kiss Day. Also, this is another informal celebration for South Korean. On this day, couples will be kissing in public. Please do not avoid or saying something bad as this day is the Kiss Day.

What about July 14th? July 14th is the Silver day. On this day, couples can buy couple rings to prove their devotion to love for each other.

August 14th is the Green Day. The day where couples will go walk around with the Nature.

September 14th will be the Music and Photo Day. Couples can sing love songs to their lovers even though they do not sang well. Also, take a photo to mark down the smiles for their lover.

October 14th will be the Wine Day. This is also known as the Candlelit Dinner Day. Having a romantic Candlelit dinner accompanied with Red Wine will be great. There is also hidden meaning to this~ Love is the same with Red Wine, need to taste it slowly to discover its flavor.

November 14th is the Orange and Movie Day. Will you be free tonight? Lets go and catch a movie together. Remember to buy orange juice to drink while watching yea.

December 14th is the Hug Day. After a years of being together, both party are still in love with each other. As this day is one of the cold day, they couples will hug together to give warm to another half so that they do not felt cold.

Actually this is all an informal accustom of the Korean to celebrate the 14th of each Month. Youth and Marketers have conspired to designate the 14th of every month a special day with specific rules to follow. In fact, even if you have missed the day, as long as love exist between both of you. As long as you love your partner, everyday will be Valentines.

Before I end this, this is a song that I love. This is in canto but is a nice and meaningful song. Enjoy and Have a Happy Day!

p.s~ This is a sad song!!!

验血

今天，真是个忙碌的一天。。。

其实前天就在怀疑今早是不是我那组去抽血了。。。

因为没有交代好的缘故，我们都很混乱。。。

所以今早去的是另一组的人。。。

可是去到时，却发现今天不是他们那组而是我们这组。。。

幸好电话打来时我已经睡醒了。。。

就赖着床上不想起来。。。

就马上得去刷牙洗脸。。。

洗了就马上从出去等巴士。。。

到了那，就剩几个人没抽血。。。

抽完血，拿了包装水就走去吃早餐了。。。

过后去验血时， 又开始blur blur 了。。。

根本就不知情要如何去做那些实验。。。

-------------------------------------------------

实验做完了，去吃午餐。。。

吃完午餐后便去了pusanika cafe 处理一些事。。。

那时已经蛮气了。。。

算了。。。

到了晚上开会，跟加离谱。。。

才知道星期日要开会。。。

什么都收收这。。。

很不爽了。。。

跟他们那族一起做工就是这样的！！！

我忍！！！！！！！

不是男朋友的男朋友 ~copied from somewhere~

每个女生心里都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友

你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，

但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？

也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。

也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。

也许为了自己的前程，她没有要你等她。

也许你们相遇太早，

还不懂得珍惜对方。

也许你们相遇太晚，

你们身边已经有了另一个人。

也许你回头太迟，

对方已不再等待。

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，

而迟迟无法跨出界线。

不过即使你们没在一起，

你们还是保持了朋友的关系。

但是你们心底清楚，

对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。

即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，

你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。

她有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，

心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望她追到。

她遇到困难时，

你会尽你所能的帮她，

不会计较谁又欠了谁。

男女朋友吃醋了，

你会安抚他们说你和她只是朋友，

但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。

每个人这辈子，

心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，

很矛盾的行为。

一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，

但久了，突然发现这样最好。

你宁愿这样关心她，

总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。

你宁愿做她的朋友，

彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。

特别是这样，

你还是知道，

她永远会关心你的。

做不成男女朋友，

当她那个特别的朋友，

有什么不好呢？

你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？

很多的感情，

都因为一厢情愿，

最后连朋友都当不成了

常常觉得惋惜，

可惜一些本来很好的友情

最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，

如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，

这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。

因为这就像是一场赌注，

表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，

要不就连朋友都当不成了。

有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，

你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的......

关于爱情：

不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的。

不要认为我还年轻，可以晚些结婚，爱情是不等年龄的。

不要因为距离太远而放弃，爱情是可以和你一起坐火车的。

不要因为对方不富裕而放弃，只要不是无能的人，勤劳可以让你们致富。

不要因为父母反对而放弃，你会发现这个原因而放弃的爱情，将是你一生的悔恨。

其实，对于爱情，越单纯越幸福！一生只谈一次恋爱是最好的。经历的太多了，会麻木，分离多

了，会习惯，换恋人多了，会比较，到最后你会不再相信爱情，你会自暴自弃，你会毫无生气，

你会行尸走肉，你会与一个你不爱的人结婚，就这样过一辈子···

所以牵好的手就不要轻易放开，说过的话就不要轻易收回，承诺过的人就不要轻易忘记···

有些人，有些事，既然发生了。

就注定是你一生的回忆...

Wedding?

A few days ago (Saturday), I had a dream. This dream is about a girl and me. In the dream, I am just like who I am in the actual world, timid in facing the relationship problems. While she is one who face it seriously. As I know she is a fair lady and lovely. However, she is so brave in confess with me. During her confession, all her friends and my friends were beside me and force me to accept her. WTH... I miss my friends too much? In the end I really accept her and start our relationship. The feeling with her is like what I wanted in the real life. Everything seem to be so true that I couldn't refract myself from it.

Then, it jumped to another scene. Just like in dramas but this seem to be another story. Here, all my secondary friends were gather together and we have so much to chat about. Out of a sudden she appear again. This time, everyone there start to ask me when to get married with her and everybody is forcing me to. It was funny as I have no idea who she is in the actual world. Maybe is you but I have never met you before.

Will this dream be a dream of my destined one? Maybe this is what I desired of and my brain just help me to realize my dream in the dream. The dream within dreams that most people hope to be true as most of my friends here really hope for me to find a girl and get marry with an intention. The intention of getting red packet from me!

Before I forget, I wanted to say Joyeux Anniversaire, Madame Mardewee!!! My french language teacher birthday is on yesterday, le 28 fevrier.

le premier mars

Today is the 16th day of Lunar New Year. Which means the celebration has end and I am forced to returned to my normal life again. However, this new year is the hottest new year I has ever seen. During this Chinese New Year, I rarely has chances to go out and have fun. As most of friends was not in JB by then. Its kinda sad but still, in the end, we managed to meet. Initially only left four of us but then Wei Yeong, Zheng Yang and Shang Ian arrived. That night was really fun but it would be better if all of us can be together by then. Hopefully by the end of the year, we all can gather together.

Waking up from my bed sweating all over my body is really making me felt terrible. Normally I would just lay on my bed and play on my laptop but this time is different. I try my best to sober up and went to wash up and have a cold water bath. I really can't stand the temperature here. If you guys notice my status in Twitter, I really hope for it. The entire night, I couldn't even sleep well as I woke up several time to take off my cloth and remove my blanket. I have no idea this still will go on for how long but its enough off me...

My schedule is going to be more and more pack for what I join.

Any chance, friends in UKM, who wanna join Pesta Konvo must contact me yea...