Hopeless~~~Returning of a depressor

Something is really wrong to me...
I'm starting to felt that I having more distance with my family and friends...
Everything has become so unfamiliar to me...
Feeling weak and dull everyday...

RIGHT NOW AT THIS MOMENT---> I don't even know what I am suppose to do...
I am caught in dilemma as I failed in the submission to the local varsity and seem like pressure starting to come from everywhere...
From my family, friends, teachers, and mostly from myself...
I was suppose to be able to get rip of this kind of situation easily but things getting harder and tougher for me to deal with...
Most importantly is this stuff is connecting me with my future and social development...
Now and then my friends will be asking why I didn't get enrolled and what will I be doing afterward...
If in the past I will surely answer back as fast as possible but now~~~ I don't even felt like talking about it again...

Really scare to went back to a few years back as I was so silence and do not talk much even with my family and friends...
All I wanted to do then was being alone and do not mix with other...
And try to stuff myself with food to relief my pressure...

Really hope this won't happen to me again but this depression seen like haunting back at me again...
Facing the monitor everyday and browsing here and there meaningless...

Maybe I have lost my hope in getting what I wanted all this years...
Seeing all kind of troubles that other suffer...
And the good stuff that will only happen to other except me making me really tired and hope to be ceased exist in the globe...
But this won't really solve the problem that I am facing right now...
So I think what really matter right moment are trying all best to solve this problem and try finding back the lost me again...