Saturday, July 19, 2008

Confusing, complex.

For this moment, I was free from all kind of clutches and torment. The inevitable event that I encounter right now is time management and social skill which was long demolished during my working life. Regaining the skill back can be time exhausting as well.

Right now, I was yearning to be in love again. I have no idea why thing would turn out like this but I need someone that I can trust to let know all that I wanted and wish to tell. If can I also need a shoulder for me to cry and lean on. This ain't the exclusive of a girl but we guy also have the right to overpass the shyness. Nobody will laugh at you when you cry(or just tears roll on). I believe that they will even impress of it. Neither you nor me would like to be landed into the agony of suffering but the only thing that make difference is the ability to cope and endure the emotion and pressure that arise.

I have to admit that I was also one of the sufferer of thy word "LOVE". Yeah truly, no one can escape this natural existing calamity that all human being has ever by pass this calamity unless for those who are 'psychopath'.

This is what even science can really explain as psychopath arise from no where. The only thing we know is the impact that one who face during their childhood making them hard to confide themself and do not even produce the feeling of love and care towards the people around them. Like me also exost some partions of psychopatic. This is what I can't denied. Sure for mine, this was also arise from the situation I mention earlier on but mostly came from inferiority.

When I was in the stage of elementary education, I was very hardworking and done all the homework and socialized with as more teachers as possible but disregard this, I missed out one truly important thing~ the important of getting a true and lasting friends. When I realise this all, everything was too late. I have lost my faith towards other. This concept was true as none of those who were true towards friendship with me. They were just using and using and using me only. I don't expect much from them, I just wanted them to be true towards me as well. That's the hardest thing people will do except for my -ex- and some of my less meeting friends.

For me, they were truly honest and real when comes to friendship. Caught between true or false was really tiring for me. Even after I have read books regarding mental health (psychology) but this can't stop me from thinking negatively.

Listen to music