Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The 24th me

Its been a long while since I last update.

Today is my 24th birthday but I don't really feel happy but extremely emo today. I have no idea why this is happening out of a sudden. Maybe I hate birthday... I don't really like myself anymore. Starting to hate the me that I know.

My body condition is at the bottom. For the past 2 days, I had been having insomnia and I still have yet found the cause of it. Why is this happening to me? The insomnia comes with a price, heartburn. Those who had gastritis should experienced heartburn before. The after effect is devastating and depressing.

Yes, its my birthday and I ought to be happy to witness the world for the 24th years. However, this complications make me felt like shit. Thanks to everyone who wished me. I really appreciate a lot but I am sorry that I couldn't express my gratitude from my utmost heartfelt. My day seems to be ruined by my emoness.  I know most of my friends ask me to cast aside my emo and stay happy but its not possible. I am still the most depressed one. I do have an urge to cry but I had no reason or anything to cry out loud. Would be easy for me to cry as I'm constantly in my own room but I just couldn't. The feeling is tense and depress at the same time. I have no idea how I can go through this but there ought to be something I can do for this.

Sometimes, been lonely for too long makes one wanted to break free.  I think I also does. Been waiting for someone who will pull me away from the screen and get back to the reality but where are you? Seem like every year, I had been expecting for this and never once came true. The mask I wore everyday seems to get fake as day passes as the contra with my true self.

Sorry if all I wrote here doesn't make sense as I am seriously sleep deprived. Hope I can sleep well tonight or else I will be a walking corpse by tomorrow.

Anyhow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!!!

PS: I bet somebody gonna scold me again.....

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